Immortal Regret

Note: This happens before the events of "Immortal Soul." See spoiler notes below if you want clarification, but if you haven't read "Immortal Soul" don't read them.


Ezra's thoughts were dark as he contemplated the events of the last few days. He had been enjoying his time as a lawman, able to use his quick wits and admittedly sharp tongue to aid the law for once in his long life. Unfortunately, he'd allowed his exuberance for the con with the Nichols clan to overcome his common sense and JD had paid for it, almost with his life.

The Immortal frowned as he straightened his sleeves and headed downstairs for the day. He had expected his taunting of the brothers to earn him some painful retribution, but nothing that his body wouldn't heal from quickly. One of the perks of being Immortal. Ezra snorted to himself and joined those of their group that had risen early this day at their usual table.

And that was a true sign of how rattled the situation had him. He was up early, having gone to bed mere hours before but unable to sleep. The image of JD collapsing in the saloon after delivering the 'message' from the Nichols boys, indelibly etched on his brain.

Ezra would have lived through their punishment, but they had chosen the youngest member of the seven to make their point. And make it they had, almost beating the boy to death.

The thought that it was his plan that put JD at risk of a premature death kept circling his mind like a predator. Ezra shook his head, earning a few concerned looks that he didn't see. He ate his breakfast automatically, too deep in thought to pay attention to the conversation as one by one everyone, but JD, joined the table.

Finally a sharp elbow in his ribs from Buck got his attention and he looked up into the smoldering eyes of Chris Larabee.

"I beg your pardon?" Ezra asked, having no idea what he'd just been asked or told.

"I said, that was a damn foolish stunt you pulled with that wagon," Chris replied with a growl, none too happy that three of his men had been injured and Ezra could easily have been a fourth. He had already laid into Buck and Josiah and now it was Ezra's turn. 

"I came away with nary a scratch," Ezra defended automatically and truthfully. Though he had burned his hand severely on the smoke stack of the armored wagon, it had healed completely by the time any of his friends were able to check on him.

Chris' frown deepened. "That's not the point. You keep acting without thinking, you're going to get yourself or someone else killed."

Ezra bit the inside of his lip, unable to argue with the same thoughts he'd been wrestling with all night.

"Next time you do something that stupid and live through it, I'm going to shoot you myself," Chris snapped, frustrated at not getting more of an argument from Ezra.

Ezra raised an eyebrow, pushed his chair away from the table and stood. "Be my guest, Chris," he said his tone quite serious. He placed his hat on his head, gave them a slight nod and turned to walk away.

"Standish! Where do you think you're going? We're not through here yet," Chris demanded.

The Immortal turned enough to look over his shoulder. "I thought we had everything settled. I am to refrain from acting foolish or you will shoot me." He winked and grinned in reply to Vin's chuckled. "I am going to visit young Mr. Dunne," he finished with a tip of his hat and continued on his way.

Chris grumbled and pushed his eggs around his plate. "Damn Southerner."

"Give him a break, Chris," Vin said.

"Oh, I'll give him a break all right..." Chris replied.

"He's feelin' guilty about JD," Buck announced. "You weren't there when Ezra told us how he misdirected Ma Nichols' boys. He believed their threat, but I don't think he thought they would go after anyone but him."

Chris frowned. It was hard to think of the suave gambler feeling guilty for his actions, though at the moment Chris struggled with his own guilt over how he'd handled Hank's situation with the Nichols clan. He nodded to himself, not seeing the relief on the others' faces when he decided to leave well enough alone.

~~~~~~~

Ezra knocked on the door to Nathan's clinic and let himself inside. JD sat propped up in the bed, he was arguing with Casey who hovered over him with a bowl in her hand. When JD saw Ezra he immediately turned to his friend for help.

"Ezra! Will you tell Casey to leave me alone? I ain't dyin' and I don't need her to feed me like a baby!"

Ezra repressed a grin as he took in the situation. JD was clearly past the point of enjoying the attentions of a young lady and Casey, well, the young woman was obviously beside herself with worry.

"My dear Miss Wells," Ezra said, stepping forward to take her lightly by the arm with one hand while he removed the bowl of... breakfast from her grasp with the other. "What our injured friend is trying to say is that he is worried about you."

"I ain't..." JD started only to stop abruptly at the quick glare Ezra sent over his shoulder as he set the bowl on the bedside table.

Casey frowned up at Ezra. "He sure don't sound worried."

The gambler noted the dark smudges under the girl's eyes and could read guilt and shame on her face. "When was the last time you ate or slept?" he asked kindly.

She shrugged.

Ezra nodded knowingly. "I fear Mr. Dunne has simply not learned how to express his concern about your well-being in a tactful manner as yet. But trust me when I say he is worried about you." He ignored the confused look on Casey's face and gently guided her toward the door. "Now why don't you go over to the boarding house, get something to eat, perhaps take a nice long bath and get some sleep. I'll stay with JD and make sure he eats and rests."

"But..." Casey protested mildly.

"Please, Casey?" Ezra asked, turning on the charm. "He won't rest while he thinks you are neglecting yourself."

Casey nibbled her lower lip and then nodded.

Ezra smiled and nodded. "Perhaps when you come back you can bring us all lunch," he suggested.

Casey cast one last look at JD, who smiled and nodded his agreement, before she sighed and left the clinic, her shoulders rounded with fatigue and worry.

Ezra held his hand out behind him to keep JD silent while he watched the young woman tread dejectedly down the stairs. Once she was gone, he closed the door and turned around.

"Thanks, Ezra!" JD said. "She was driving me crazy trying to feed me and clean up after me! Women! I'll never understand them."

"You are probably correct, however, you would do well to at least learn to humor them and be more tactful in your attempts to rid yourself of their presence."

"Huh?" JD asked, rubbing at his forehead.

The bruises on his face told Ezra that the young man most likely had a horrific headache. He sighed. "I apologize JD, now is not the time for lessons on the fairer sex."

JD looked up as Ezra came to stand closer to the bed. "Maybe later, huh, when my head isn't threatening to split open and I can do a better job at deciphering your ten dollar words?"

Ezra grinned. "Deal."

JD grinned back. "Thanks anyway for..." he nodded toward the door and Casey's exit. "I'm not hungry, but she was insisting and I didn't want to throw up in front of Casey."

Ezra grimaced and took a seat in the chair by the bed. He removed his hat and picked at imaginary lint as he tried to organize what he wanted to say. "I must apologize, JD, I did not mean to put you in harm's way."

JD frowned. "What do you mean, Ezra?"

"I am referring to the beating you took at the hands of those thugs," Ezra said meeting JD's eyes. "I never thought that they would go after anyone but myself."

"Shucks, Ez, it wasn't your fault. Me'n those Nichols boys have had more than a few words between us right from the start," JD said with a wry grin that caused him to flinch when the cut on his lip stretched too far. "That one guy kept..." he paused, his face scrunching up as he tried to find the right word. "He kept... ogling her."

"Ogling?" Ezra repeated, amazed that JD had the word in his vocabulary.

"Yeah," JD said defiantly. "It wasn't proper."

Ezra raised an eyebrow at that and tilted his head. "It made you jealous?"

"Heck no!" JD denied.

The gambler simply grinned.

JD huffed. "Well, we are sorta courting."

Ezra's eyebrow rose higher.

"Not officially or nothin'," JD back-pedaled.

"I see," Ezra replied, trying to contain his amusement, but failing rather dismally.

"Whatever, Ezra..." anything else he was going to say was cut short by a huge yawn. JD blinked a few times and yawned again.

"I think you should get some rest, JD," Ezra offered as his guilt came crashing down on him again. "I'll ward off Miss Wells for the time being."

JD smiled, his eyes already closing. "Thanks, Ez. You're a good friend." The young man's head dropped to his chest as his injuries and need for healing sleep overtook him.

Ezra stood and helped settle JD more comfortably on the bed before going to stand by the window.

It was becoming harder and harder for him to stay in this place, becoming attached to people that he knew he would have to leave behind sooner or later. People he would lose whether it was to death or because he was forced to move on before it became apparent that he wasn't aging.

He sighed. Maybe Maude had it right, it was better not to stay in one place too long. Better not to form attachments. Even after all these years, he couldn't decide if his mother's teachings were the best way or the worst way to deal with immortality.

Ezra gazed out the window at the street. At least he knew that Nathan would be around, for as long as he could keep his head. The Immortal frowned. How much worse would it be to lose someone you had known for centuries? How would he feel if Maude ever lost a fight?

A shiver ran up his back and he had to work hard to shake off the deep ache of sadness that thought brought. No, Maude was too mean and underhanded to die. He grinned to himself. Come to think of it, Nathan was pretty tough, too. He would just have to make sure the healer could take care of himself against another Immortal.

Ezra nodded. He and Nathan would do everything they could to protect the rest of their friends. He wouldn't have to stand alone regardless of the ultimate outcome. There were many things he regretted in his life, but staying in Four Corners wasn't going to be one of them. This place and the people in it were home and that would stay with him for the rest of his life, however long that may be.

The end

Feedback is greatly appreaciated. JudyL

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